June 18, 2018.
I have something I call my Holy Trinity (apologies to Christians): Writing, Movement, and Housekeeping.
My holy trinity is wholly aspirational. Housekeeping is always the first piece to go and honestly the whole winter and spring were pretty unholy.
Thanks to clothes moths and my primary care doctor telling me I’m a dead ringer for a depressed person who needs to get her living space cleaned up as soon as possible… all my energy has been plowed into housekeeping for days. I’m just coming up for air now.
My newly decluttered and wiped down apartment was professionally cleaned today. It smells like lemon pledge. Peonies to celebrate.
I had a chance to do some deep thinking while I was cleaning.
My mom was (and still is) always right on top of things. Beautifully kept home, all logistics efficiently handled ahead of schedule. She’s always on the move. And after everything is squared away, she uses her surplus energy helping neighbors and remembering people’s birthdays with thoughtful gifts and delicious baked goods.
I found all that pretty scary as a kid, because I wanted to be a writer and I wanted to be selfish. I saw organization and cleanliness as ALL-CONSUMING.
But now that I’m 40 and my emotional maturity is finally growing in, I think that I can make writing happen even if I become more engaged at housekeeping.
And I did remember to think about someone besides myself over the weekend. I even made a protest sign:
That’s for the kids at the border.
Lil is a writer and editor in Seattle. Her writing on comics, books, and life has appeared in Paste Magazine, STACKEDD, Newsarama, Panel Patter, The Wind-Up Books Chronicle, Mining Transport, the only way out is through (TOWOIT), and The Naive Review. She's also started posting some essays more cleanly at Medium, now that she's cluttered up her Wordpress blog with angry bulleted lists, White House briefing transcripts, and so many screenshots of tweets. Twitter is @lilwould.